Saturday, December 8, 2007

Me, I Want a Hula Hoop

How is it that we, as a society, have not developed an aversion toward Christmas songs yet?

Think about it. Anyone who has dared to brave a shopping mall during peak hours from after Thanksgiving on 'til Christmas Eve has surely roamed the endless expanse that is the mall parking lot questing for the lone, coveted parking spot while tolerating the meandering gait of shell shocked shoppers searching for their SUV that they are sure they had parked in row ZZ and enduring more verbal insults and obscene gestures from their fellow questers than anyone should receive in a lifetime. Throughout this time what is playing on the radio but some merry tune espousing the joys of giving or the wonders of the sub-freezing precipitation you are praying does not fall on you as you make your three mile hike from your parking spot to the mall entrance. Then once you do reach the large glass doors to the shopping mecca and bid a farewell to your sherpa guide as you enter into the seventh circle of the consumer underworld populated with screaming children and denizens willing to sacrifice body and limb to get this year's "Tickle Me This" or "Nintendo Wii That", you are greeted with the exact same melodies and lyrics you had listened to in the car and could not get out of your head. Seriously, how is this not enough to evoke a Pavlovian response which causes one to weep at the very sound of Silver Bells?

Perhaps it has to due with the fact that we are only subjected to these tunes for a small fraction of the year. Although, there are some radio stations out there that are bound and determined to spread the holiday cheer well before the predesignated season. Yes, I'm looking at you WASH 97.1 Lite FM. You took it upon yourself to start Rudolphing and Jingle Bell Rocking at least 2 weeks before Thanksgiving. I still had my Halloween costume sitting in my living room when the carols started to fill your airwaves; and yet for some reason, I listened. Now as the holiday approaches, more and more stations are beginning to pepper their play lists with Pretty Paper and pipers piping until come Christmas Eve/Day, there will be no escaping the "sounds of the season". And then nothing...

Every December 26th, I am left with a feeling of emptiness as I tune the radio from station to station and hear the regularly scheduled programming and the familiar voices of musicians. I know deep down that I would beg to hear the Barking Dogs' Jingle Bells or Dominic the Christmas Donkey one more time before being cut off cold turkey. One more fix to get me through the year... just once more. Then I come to the harsh realization that I will have to wait until the next holiday season to be filled with sounds of Frosty thumpity thumping o'er the hills of snow.

Oooh I gotta go, Bing Crosby and David Bowie's duet of Little Drummer Boy is playing. I love this song!