Washington (MK Press) - At 9:47 pm EST on February 20th The Pentagon released orders signed by President Bush to authorize lethal force against terrorist leader Lu Na'ar Eklips. President issued the following statement shortly after the announcement:
"Our top NASA scientists have informed me of the evil-doers' plot to take away the moon from us Americans. We will not let this happen. The moon is a symbol of our great country and the freedom which we enjoy almost as much as the pies provided by the moon. We will fight and we will win."
At 10:26 pm EST the United States Pacific Command's USS Lake Erie launched a ballistic missile from its position in the Pacific Ocean west of Hawaii at the terrorists just as the moon was about to completely disappear. The missile fell short of the terrorist base on the lunar surface and is speculated to have destroyed a US Intelligence satellite. President Bush responded with the following statement at 11:41 pm EST as the moon returned to its full brightness:
"Mission Accomplished. While we did not hit our intended target, our military might has frightened our enemy away and made the moon safe for our enjoyment once again. NASA has just notified me that the Lu Na'ar terrorist cell has been dispersed for the time being. However, we have intelligence indicating that there may be another attack in 2010. Well I have this to say to those evil doers, and any others that think they can take our moon, our sun, or even Mars: We will never back down without a fight! And to paraphrase my favorite book, Goodnight America. Goodnight Moon."
